Andy Mason (00:00)
Hey, have you been in a situation where you've launched a product, launched an event, an activity, something that you've stepped out on and it hasn't gone like what you wanted. And then you dealt with facts, feelings, feedback, and what I would say is filthy narratives. Well, you may have been in that Dallas last week. That's where we were. And what you may have never known is that we had some pretty hefty conversations over the next
48 hours because it did not live up to our expectations. And now part of that is we got a healthy dose of self-critical. So we're working through that. But what we want to do today is give you some real practical keys of what to do when the situation that you've launched, the relationship that's a stepped out in, the employee that you've hired does not go according to your plan. What do you do? And as a quick heads up.
Dallas actually was pretty amazing. So we better probably start with that. but then save the date. Nashville, March the fourth, fifth, and sixth, twenty twenty seven. we're pretty convinced that's gonna sell out. So make sure you save the date and that's gonna go live in a very short few weeks. So you're better jump in. So, Janine, firstly, Dallas last week, what was it like? Well, tell us the good first. lots of people encountering
The Lord, lots of people encourage lots of people finding other people to connect with and to find out that they're not alone. So I mean that's always a great thing. You find your tribe, you find people who both love Jesus and love business, all in the same room, facing the same kind of things, like, this is actually normal. The things that I thought were really unusual, actually, lots of my friends, my new friends that I found in the room are facing the same things and or maybe somebody has faced the same things and they survived.
They overcame and you're like, I'm gonna overcome too, and you go away, leave you leave encouraged. And so we saw a lot of that happening in the room. So ultimately that's the goal, that people are connected to a sense of purpose in their business and that they're connected to the Lord. So yay, for us, that went well. Yeah, I mean, for me, a highlight, we started off the first night with stories of what God's doing around the world, just testimonies that were recent, like last one, two weeks of what we're hearing and seeing in businesses.
And then we got the people in the room to break up into you're either before a challenge, in a challenge, or after a challenge. Break them up into that groups and they prayed for each other. And one of the gentlemen in the room with his business partners came and he walks up to another person in the small group saying, Hey, well, what do you want me to pray for? And he says, Well, I think I want to get saved. I want to give my life to Jesus. So it's a good thing. It's kind of a good night, especially when his business partners have been praying for this day for more than 10 years.
So that was one highlight. The other highlight was what happened on the Saturday. So we had about 35 local business owners, leaders, actually some from Ohio, some from one from the UK, and they did masterminds and watching what happened in the room where you're sitting in a group of peers and you're working through a solution to a challenge that you're facing and you leave with that, with these cool little forms. Actually, I've got them here. I'm highlight here. We go.
You can see there. Look, check these out. So those little having a business mastermind feedback forms, we did that. And that is a game changer because you're leaving with something tactical and practical that you can actually apply immediately. And a young man from our own church that came to the conference who was sitting in that just talked. We met with him on Monday and he was raving about how it was to sit with seasoned business people and get feedback. They kind of gave him a hard time, but he needed it because he's like, I don't know what I want to do and I think I want to do this.
He said, but it was so good because it was loving and it was kind, but it was direct and exactly what he needed to take the next step. So that was a super fun thing for us to see a young man that we have kind of adopted to see him get the benefit of that was great. So where did it come unstuck? Well, firstly, I'll tell this one and then you can say what you think. Okay. So for us, I mean, for for us to work, we're we're a business. This is a business and a ministry. And for it to work.
we need to pay for ourselves. Now, pay for ourselves means not just ten dollars an hour. Actually, there's a whole set of systems and processes. And you're in business, you get this. So for us, we needed a minimum of 80 people and ideally a hundred for it to make it sustainable for us. Well, we had eighty-five and there was a bunch of those that are actually sponsored to get them in. So our average cost or revenue per head was lower. So that was like a
You know, this has been really hard to push to get this launched and we had less people than we expected. So that was a kind of a a downer. what about you? What was some of the things that then you thought you walked away with like, oui? I think too, we had some people in the room on on the first day and they didn't turn back up on the second day. Now there was a bunch of them when we actually talked to people and investigated that they had legitimate reasons. They were only we knew from the start they were only able to be there.
One day, but when you look out from the stage that second day and there's a bunch of empty seats that weren't there yesterday, you the the enemy wants to come into your head and say, They hate you, they've left because it was so bad. That there's just that human reaction of what is going on until you slow it down and start to ask good questions about what is actually going on. And if the truth is, if it wasn't for them.
and they didn't come back, then they're not the right people for us. The people who came and enjoyed it and and kind of drank from the fountain that we offered, those are the ones that we call to. Others that are finding somewhere else to get what they need, that's bless them, release them and that's good. But it's it's a little hard on the ego. Yeah. And so Janine's talking about when you've got eight people that don't show up the next day for whatever reason, eight out of a hundred and fifty, a normal heaven and a business conference, you barely notice it.
But eight out of eighty-five. It stands out a bit. So there's those just those numbers things. some other things around the venue, other things around the food, the catering. The food was not great. other things where we have standards for ourselves and we train our people. Engagement, engagement, engagement. less of this, more of the interaction. And obviously the thing that people cannot buy is the presence of God. So
People were powerfully touched by the presence of God. People that are seasoned national business leaders coming up and saying, Andy, I spoke to my wife yesterday, saying, Hey, you know how I've been in a funk lately? Well, now I know why this is what was missing. So that was there, which is priceless, but we broke our own rules in terms of some of the time frames of talking too long, not enough real tactical from a for the session that I did. I'm owning myself. Okay, that's good for you. Yeah. So
Yeah, there's always those things. Here's the first thing that key that I wanna give you is don't don't debrief it immediately. So I used to do the same with the Heminha Business Conference, but with educators and it was my thing. I was the head of that, had a team, but it it was all the responsibility was on me. And I learned this when I started looking at we used to do paper feedback forms and I would read through them that night. You're exhausted. You you're
laid everything on the line, you've been planning for months, working for months, and then you've worked from dawn till till dusk for those three days or whatever and you are physically exhausted, you're emotionally exhausted, and then you read the feedback forms and you find every little negative thing and that's what resonates. And I can remember some of those times like reading 150 forms and someone would complain about the salad dressing. I didn't like the salad dressing options.
And that's what would stick in your head in those first couple of days. You you read right past, thank you, you changed my life. Thank you, this is gonna change the way I do everything in my business, in my workplace. And you'd it it's like the little negative things go round and round. So we have learned not to we're do little bit of feedback, but we won't focus in on those first three days. One of our other speakers, we were sitting at dinner, I think, one night and I he said
we were still on the stage and we were starting to talk about what you know, what we did wrong, what could we do better? I said, No, don't do that because you'll be so harsh on yourself. Because in that moment, it's like you've released something, you've done something, you've stepped out in risk and trusting God. And the enemy wants to come in in that moment and he wants to to stop you from doing that. So he's his voice is gonna try and be loud. I have learned to just turn that voice down like I'm not gonna think.
those things I I'll give myself forty eight hours before I even really start considering what do I need to do different and it's fine if it's the food. The salads weren't great. Who cares? We we'll use a different caterer next time. But if you're talking about in my case it was, hey I'm I did my second session, everyone was talking about the first session, how wonderful it was, and no one was mentioning the second session and I went, dear lord, was it that bad that no one wants to even mention it.
And so I can start to get into this cycle of of, no, it was terrible, I can never show my face again. And really if I just put push pause on even having that conversation within myself or certainly between us, it helps you get refreshed in your body, refreshed and the worst of that kind of I I think pushback is over if you wait for forty eight hours. So for you it's obviously not an event.
Maybe it's a business deal. Maybe you've pitched to a client and they said no, a prospect. Maybe as someone that you've worked with for the period of time and they have exited a relationship with you and have gone to a competitor. Whatever that situation, that's what we're talking about for you. Is number one, just pause in it and don't beat yourself up. Actually just pause. Sit back. Janine's talking about give it 48 hours. Now we are not avoiding it. We're not.
Pretending it wasn't painful or difficult, or there's things to improve. But we just want to give it some time to settle so that you're not reacting. Well, this is called feedback. secondly, is I don't want to turn it into a filthy narrative. There's facts and then there's filthy narratives. And the difference between those two is: here's what happened: the food was wilted. Okay. But I can turn that into a filthy narrative.
I suck. I should never do an event again in my life. I we shouldn't have done this. Like, no, no, no, no. That's shame and that's dumb thinking. That's a filthy narrative. Go back to the facts. The facts was there was a salad and it was wilted and it was probably sitting there for an hour. And it should not have sat there for an hour. What can you do better next time? But if I'm gonna beat myself up, so pause and become aware of what were the facts. And that leads us into this next one, which is really I need to have wise counselors.
seasoned, trusted people and you don't need somebody that will either flatter you and tell you you're amazing, you're awesome. Like you just count the amount of awesome. If it's more than one, it's like don't listen to them. Like just no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't need flattery. That is just flattery. And the second thing is I don't need criticism.
Criticism is someone that lobs a grenade into your party, blows the party up and then just walks off. Someone that's a wise, trusted counsel, they don't do the you're awesome, you're awesome, awesome. They'll say, Hey, I like this about it. Then they lob a grenade into your party and they help you clean it up afterwards. They're there with you to say, Hey, hey, these are some things that really weren't very good. some areas for you to include incl improve. I know that you're committed to excellence and this wasn't
Excellent. Guys, you hold this standard to yourselves and you actually didn't measure up to your own standard. Ouch. So that's the difference between flattery and criticism. No, no, I want someone with a heart that loves, that speaks the truth, and will help us walk this out and give us that. Well, and I think too, if you're talking about somebody who is truly wise counsel.
They are going to be able to see the good things. And you want the good you want the feedback so you get a balanced, a balanced view of here are some things. Hey, remember you did these things great, and remember how what this person and we heard this test mean and we heard this come back from another client, another customer. You want that, and you want the person in the same conversation to say, but here's what we think was missing, or here's what we think could be improved. And and someone who's not
operating under a critical spirit or operating un as Andy said, under kind of the spirit of flattery, wanting just to win you over, will be able to see both because then you're clear right and there's always good and bad in every mix, in every deal, in every event, and every whatever you're doing. So Yeah. So the next thing is, I mean, we've talked about feedback and just a delay in actually sitting down and processing that fully. obviously if there's something urgent and critical, that's a different story. But this is
This is there's a bigger picture going on here. So just pause and slow down. Well, and there's a testimony within that for us. So we we highlighted that the food was not great. It wasn't just that it was sitting out, it just wasn't great quality and the quantity was not good. Rough. And so we did immediately a couple of days later we Andy reached out to the food provider and said, Hey, listen, we've used you before in another city and it was awesome. And here's the comments that we got. People were not feeling well.
People looked at it and said, Yeah, that's very average. We don't like that. And so they actually gave us a thirty percent discount. F thirty percent of our payment is coming back to us, which was a blessing to us. we probably won't use them again still, but at least they made it right in it and it helped us out. Yeah. So that's the I want to give and receive feedback, not to say you're a stupid idiot. No, no, that's just critical and not helpful for anybody.
But as one business to another, this is how I experienced you. And I this this was not acceptable. And then they chose to volunteer. Which is really good for us. So bottom line is just straight up, we doubled our bottom line revenue profit by one company giving us thirty percent of food back. And then another adjustment. Another adjustment, which was great. So we've talked about feedback.
And how you get that? We talked about having wise counselors and I've got to find those and invite them and keep them in my life. And the third one is God speak, is what I call a God speak, which is what do you practically do to navigate this? So I for me, I sat down and God promises He doesn't always promise things to go best. And actually we learn a lot from things when they don't go well. If we'll pause and slow down and listen.
So what I did is I got in my journal and I just wrote two columns. Now I was feeling pretty sucky and beating up on myself, man, why'd I do that? Why like why how did I allow that to happen? So I just wrote two columns. Column on the left was what has happened that was good. And I started to write down the names of people that walked up and gave feedback. How Janine and what she did and and the different team members. And I wrote those things down. And then on the right column, I wrote the things that we need to improve. And I was kind of shocked in my head.
So this is filthy narrative compared to facts. In my head, it was like there were so many more things that we need to get right get right. But when I wrote it down black and white, it was like, there's a whole lot more in a positive than there was in the negative. It's like I need to adjust my narrative from filthy narrative, clean it up, get back to facts. And then the bigger picture is what does God say? I mean, were we faithful? Were we obedient? Doesn't mean I'm not going to continually improve.
But why did you do this to start with and are you doing what he's given you to do? Are you being faithful? Yeah, and I think the same for me, like I said, Andy's doing it on his remarkable, he's writing things down. For me it's the I am I refuse to focus on the negative and I went and so for me a part of it was the preaching, particularly that second message, and I was struggling. I refused for forty-eight hours to do to to even really engage with it.
And then I went to Andy and said, Okay, I'm ready now. Give it to me. And I made some notes. And then I went to to two other team members and I said, Will you give me feedback on that? So as soon as I came home, I made notes on my notes for for preaching. I made notes of here's what I'll do next time. And I refused to engage with the beating myself up, like, I failed. It was so terrible. No, I'm learning.
And I'm growing, and here's great feedback for me to learn and grow. And I refuse to engage with that. Who am I? What is what has the Lord said? I personally, it was very encouraging for me. I had some older seasoned gentlemen who are are experts really in the communication realm that came and gave me really positive feedback. So while my mind is wanting to spin on everything I did wrong, I intentionally focused on.
These these are the things, the positive feedback that I got. And right alongside that, here's the things that I need to do to grow and to improve. And those two things do coexist. We tend to be it's all good or it's all bad. But actually both everything that we do, there's an opportunity to celebrate the good and to look at what would do better next time and to adjust and to grow and maybe we wouldn't, we wouldn't do it quite the same way next time.
That's a good thing. Yeah, so what about you? the things that you're facing. Are you beating yourself up overly? it's completely unnecessary. Sit down, face it, lean in. Maybe it's you need to find a wise counselor or find another one. Not that's gonna flatter you and not that's gonna be critical. I actually wanna find someone that will lob that grenade and then help clean up afterwards. Because we need that. We all need that. And then finally
What is God saying in all of this? Have you stopped and paused and gone back and reflected on are you doing what he's given you to do? What's he saying in the midst of this? maybe you're like Gideon in Judges chapter six, he was hiding in a well and and the angel shows up. What are you doing here, you mighty man of Ella? I'm not, I'm not that. Get up and go on this might have completely ignored all of the negative feedback and criticism and says, You got way more in the you than you realize and you need to get up and get going.
So we're not gonna read you all the great feedback. We know we're now protested, come back, just got off another call with a guy saying, This is great. What are we gonna do for the next one? So for you, save the date. March fourth to the fifth fourth, fifth and sixth in Nashville. we're locking in a venue as we speak. And we look to seeing you there.
