What to Do with Learned Hopelessness

Where have you lost hope, deferred agency or said to yourself "it's never going to change so there's no point..."

You started a business and generated cashflow only to feel like it fills up a money bag with holes! You've invested much but had less-than-promised, or constantly deferred returns.

Janine and I are currently in Zimbabwe. We have gotten to witness some epic moments. Stadium worship in Bulawayo brought together over 7,000 people from different churches, ages, colors and countries around "No brands, no logos, no intros... only one name: Jesus." Two and a half hours of worship and prayer that had pastors sitting together than had never sat together before. Every hand raised as a leader prayed for fresh encounter with the Spirit of God...

These people are the kindest, well educated, most resilient and loyal people I know.

And then we hear heartbreaking, momentum shattering stories. Like the three time's this nation has suddenly changed economic policy (and currency!) that has wiped out it's citizens reserves and destroyed it's businesses. Like the city leader who brought a fully funded, future-building resource with-no-strings-attached to his city council who opposed it because they didn't want him to get credit (even though his name wouldn't be on it). Like the five toll gates on the main road from Harare to Bulawayo, each costing $5-7 USD (when the national currency is ZiG), often with "no change available" and even more so, no re-investment in the roads themselves so the only thing to increase are the size of the potholes, affecting transport time, cost and safety. 

The prophet Haggai put it like this:

You looked for much, but indeed it came to little; and when you brought it home, I blew it away. 

I realize Zimbabwe is not the only place where people experience the heart-sickness of hope deferred. We learn hopelessness or powerlessness in our own back yards also. The leader (or spouse) or employee who never changes. The investor or bank that promises funding but last minute has a "change of policy." The marketing or product development or project that you spend months preparing, only to have an algorithm problem or technical malfunction or supplier failure that undermines your efforts.

Is this ever going to change? What's the point trying again? I can't...

So what do you do when you recognize hopelessness?

We had an underwriter commit (in writing) to funding a significant project for us only to have them say, at the point of transaction, "I'm sorry, our situation has changed and we can no longer do this." I felt paralyzed. "But you said..." "But I had a word from God..." "But we lined up EVERYTHING and made commitments and have people depending on us..."

So, what do you do when you can't do anything?

I did prayer. "God, you said... and I did my part... and now they are not following through..."

Instantly I heard a still, small voice: "They are not your source, I AM!"

Ouch. 

Step 1: Turn your priority back to the true Source

Christ alone. His Kingdom alone. For the glory of God alone.

How often we drift from seeking His Kingdom above all else! Subtle but significant. I little comfort or compromise; a little less leaning in and listening... A little seeking first the familiar, quick, or easy rather than pausing and FIRST seeking the counsel of the Lord.

ACTION: "Father forgive me where I have put other priorities first and other voices before yours and the circumstances ahead of you..." "I turn back to seeking you above all else. You are my Source, my Supply, my Satisfaction, my Security, my significance. I have nothing apart from You. You are everything to me and I yield my plans, my business, my life to you..." (Tell Him in your own words)

Whenever or wherever you feel hopeless, something other than Christ is at the center, because He is our living hope (see 1 Peter 1:3).

I did some repenting and realigned my heart with Christ at the center.

But we still had a situation - we had a contract and no funding. 

AND now this is not only MY problem - God is with me and He knows what to do...

So, what do WE do now? Show me YOUR ways? What are YOU doing that I can join in with YOU?

As I prayed and pondered I was reminded of story about Jesus and the man at the pool of Bethesda (see John 5).

Step 2: Stand up—take ownership

Jesus approached a man who had been unwell for thirty-eight years and asked him, “Do you want to be made well?” (John 5:6). The man didn't even answer the question! He responded with everything preventing him from getting into the pool. Nobody was helping him. Somebody else always got there first.

After years of disappointment, his answer focused on why it couldn’t happen. He had learned hopelessness.

I recognize that response in myself. “But they said...” “But I don’t have...” “But last time...”

Jesus didn’t tell him off or walk away. He gave him a next step: “Rise, take up your bed and walk.”

For me, standing up meant taking ownership of what I believed God had invited us into. I wanted to shrink back. Instead, I had to say it again: “This is what I’m believing for. This is what I want for our family. God, I still believe You led us here.”

I verbalized it. I wrote it down. I let others know.

Taking ownership didn’t mean pretending the funding hadn’t fallen through. It meant bringing that reality to God and asking what I could do next.

ACTION: What have you stopped asking for because disappointment has trained you to expect nothing? Bring it back into conversation with God. Write it down. Tell someone you trust. Ask Him, “What does standing up look like for me?”

Step 3: Pick up your mat - use what you DO have

We still didn’t have enough money. Realigning my heart hadn’t changed the bank balance!

But we did have something.

We had a property we could sell.

I could keep looking at the funding that was no longer available, or I could take responsibility for what was already in our hands. We put the property on the market. It sold within one week!

That didn’t solve everything. But it gave us something with which to move forward.

What do you have? A skill? A relationship? Some time? A resource? An idea you can test? Someone you can call?

Often, what you have doesn’t feel like enough. That’s where I get stuck. I look at the size of the gap and overlook what God has already put in my hand.

Pick it up. Ask Him what to do with it.

ACTION: Make a list of what is available to you right now. Then ask, “God, which of these can I act on?” Make the call. Arrange the meeting. Take care of what is already within your responsibility.

Step 4: Walk - take the next faithful step

This is the part where I would love to tell you everything immediately came together. It didn’t.

We went back and forth with the seller several times before reaching an agreement. We sought wise counsel. We had honest conversations. We made decisions with the information available and kept asking God for the next step.

We walked it out over eighteen months. Eighteen months!

Looking back, I can say it was a miracle. Living through it looked like conversations, decisions, prayer and another step forward.

I didn’t have the whole path mapped out. I had God with me.

And I’m learning to trust His faithfulness more than my ability to hold everything together.

ACTION: What is your next faithful step? You may need counsel, another conversation or help from someone who can see what you can’t. Take that step. Then come back to God for the next one.

Turn back to your Source. Stand up. Pick up what you have. Walk.

God is with you, and He knows what to do.

What Now? 

If this has been helpful for you, share it. Comment. Or email us your testimony [email protected].

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Third, there is nothing like being in a room full of like-minded, Christ-centered, business leaders who are seriously hope-filled about partnering with God and multiplying Kingdom impact. Join us in Nashville, March 2027: Heaveninbusiness.com/Nashville