Do You Trust Me?

I thought I did...

We are STILL in the middle of our house journey. Two weeks ago I posted the story of how God came through last minute with a home that is beautiful and released new hope! We were on track thinking we are perfectly positioned to close end of July then I got a call from my mortgage manager...

"Ummm.... the underwriters don't like your situation..."

Whaaat!!!! This is less borrowing than I had before and my income is forecast to be higher than before and the security from a banks perspective is brilliant!!!!

"I know. But now that this house search process has taken so long, you have a new entity in a new state and you are no longer on salary and we don't have two years of you running the new entity, so your situation doesn't fit in the normal parameters."

Key words - "you don't fit normal"

It would appear that nothing I do is 'normal!'

Initial response - calmly (at least outwardly) freak out wondering and hoping God has another phone call coming in within five minutes.

After five minutes I text/talked to a couple friends for their advice.

Next response - remember that I was reading Psalm 40 on this day and it TALKED about God rescuing me out of a pit and putting me on solid ground.

I read it again...."I waited and waited AND WAITED SOME MORE, patiently (????), knowing (you sure about that?) God would come through for me. Then, AT LAST, He bent down and listened to my cry. He stooped down to lift me out of danger from the desolate pit I was in, out of the muddy mess I had fallen into. NOW He's lifted me up into a firm, secure place and steadied me while I walk along His ascending path." (Psalm 40:1-2 TPT emphasis and comments are mine).

OK, so God's got this. He is completely relaxed. He is not in a hurry. BUT I NEED THE MONEY!

"Will you trust me?"

Ye.....s? (Can you answer the affirmative and still have a question?)

"Do you trust me?"

Yes. But can I have some more information... a plan.... a strategy.... an end picture of how and when this is going to work out good?

...silence...

I remember, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding... He will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5,6)

Are you SURE I can trust you without understanding???? Is that even responsible????!!!

And this really doesn't feel easy... or fun.

Well, I guess there's nothing else I can do.

OK, I trust You. Help me to trust you! Help me to walk this out in such a way that everyone who hears will stand in awe of God and fall in love with Him! (Psalm 40:3).

So what does trust look like? 

1. Listen and obey - I prayed and sensed I heard a couple names of trusted people to call so I did. That's always a vulnerable step that I have LEARNED is also a fastrack to deeper relationships. However, none of them had an alternative solution (we did talk to an alternative provider and the answer was exactly the same). All confirmed to continue the direction we were headed.

2. Continue walking - do the things I need to do. Sign the forms. Provide the information... quickly. Don't procrastinate.

There is a solution our mortgage manager is pursing that should easily be approved; just at a higher cost. When I look at God's face He is not worried or concerned or upset; actually He is almost delighting in watching me navigate the process. So I keep walking even though paying more money (unnecessarily in my opinion) stinks.

3. Process honestly - I love how the Psalms doesn't sterilize the process! Be candid with what you are feeling. I'm disappointed. I'm scared. I'm angry. But I will trust You. Don't let my frustration spill over to undermine the Knowledge of You to my family or community.

So, God is asking YOU... "WILL YOU TRUST ME? Will you let go control of what you think you know and walk with Me?"

What is your response?

"But may all who search for You be filled with joy and gladness in you. May those who love your salvation repeatedly shout, "The LORD is great!" As for me, since I am poor and needy, let the Lord keep me in His thoughts. You are my Helper and my Savior. O my God, do not delay." Psalm 30: 16-17 NLT

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